When the Nightmares Started
by chihirobaby
Summary: "I remember you." She paused, wanting to tell him everything but scared to tell him anything. "I don't remember anything else but you." They've been strangers, friends, lovers. Just like her name and face, their relationship is always different. Two things remain constant, however: Link; and the promise that this will start all over again. [A Link/Zelda Modern AU]
1. Prologue

When the Nightmares Started

A Legend of Zelda AU

~ Prologue ~

" _It's dangerous to go alone"_

– The Legend of Zelda(1986)

* * *

There was a loud creak as the door gave way. It echoed down the hallway, and for a moment the sound seemed to travel to every corner of the abandoned castle. Zelda didn't give it much thought as she moved on. There were pictures to be taken, after all.

Pictures. There were a lot of pictures hanging in this particular hallway. A quick glance revealed they were actually empty frames; the paintings had likely long been stolen. Zelda smirked, this seemed like a fitting place.

Another door, another creak, another long unlit hallway. Frustration was starting to build and her steps were growing more impatient. The earlier care she had taken to creep quietly had quickly left, and Zelda all but stomped towards the door on her right. It looked as if it had once been grand, with large double doors and peeling paint. She almost stopped to admire it- almost. Pushing yet another door open, Zelda stumbled into what appeared to be a large hall. Windows lined the walls, allowing a bit more of the moon to fill the darkness.

Suddenly, a bright light flooded her vision, blinding her. When her eyes refocused she was staring down the barrel of a gun.

There was an eruption of sound, and Zelda's last thought was that someone had opened a door nearby.

The bullet went straight through her heart.


	2. Chapter 1

~ Chapter 1 ~

" _Your true face… what kind of… face is it? I wonder… the face under the mask… Is that… your true face?"_

– Majora's Mask (2000)

* * *

Marin woke up slowly, and then all at once. There was a strange ache in her chest, and she had the feeling she was forgetting something. As she got out of bed and began her day, however, the odd feelings faded along with her morning grogginess. There wasn't time to focus on dreams. It was a Tuesday and there was work to be done, after all.

She drank her coffee slowly, munching on her granola bar and thinking through what she had to do. She was going to be spending all day at the precinct, which meant she needed to wear something comfortable. She would also need to pack her phone and laptop charger… Marin quickly fell into the trance of getting ready, the soft noise of the morning news filtering through her small apartment. There was comfort in the early morning, a feeling as if the world was waking up with her. It helped her forget the ache, and before she knew it she was at the West Castletown police precinct annoying the police officers.

Well Marin wouldn't describe it as annoying- she was just doing her job as a police reporter. Really, if anyone was annoying it was the officers who refused to tell her anything. Already she had had to schmooze and threaten officers just to get information on a burglary, and it was only ten-thirty.

She entered the bathroom for a quick break. Pulling her hair into a low bun, Marin considered her reflection. She had never felt that red hair suited her, and she often forgot that she had it. Sometimes when she saw her reflection or a picture she didn't recognize herself. And as she stared into the mirror, Marin had the feeling she was watching someone else fix their hair. The strange ache from that morning seemed to be back, and Marin held back a melodramatic sigh.

One of her coworkers came out of a stall and began washing her hands, greeting Marin amiably and making a comment about how nice the spring weather was. Marin was still distracted by her reflection, offering a small hum in response. She fussed with her bangs in the mirror, frowning slightly. Why did her face feel so… wrong? And what was that about spring? Marin couldn't seem to remember it ever being winter.

"Your hair looks quite perfect to me." Marin smiled at the girl. She was right, her hair looked just like it always had. So did her face.

And yet something about that didn't sit right. "Do you ever feel like you aren't exactly yourself?" Facing her friend, Marin tapped her fingers together in frustration. "Like something about you is… off?"

Her look of confusion at the sudden question matched the confusion Marin was feeling, and this time she did let out a melodramatic sigh. Brushing off questions with an excuse of not drinking enough coffee that morning, Marin left the bathroom, only to stop a few steps later. _Did_ she drink coffee that morning? Did she typically drink coffee? Did she even like coffee?

The aggressive buzzing of her phone stopped Marin from spiraling down that rabbit hole, and she was happy that she sounded only slightly flustered when she answered. A rough voice barked through the speaker, "How's the warehouse murder case coming?"

"Warehouse murder?" She willed her brain to focus and understand what her supervisor was talking about. Murder… in a warehouse… a case about a warehouse murder….

The pieces clicked. "Oh, yes. I am on my way right now to talk with the detectives in charge of the case, sir." Marin had not, in fact, been headed in that direction, but he didn't need to know that. Turning abruptly, she began to head the opposite way.

"I expect a report within an hour with updated details." He hung up after her affirmation. She chided herself for losing focus. She had cases to report; there wasn't time to worry about her coffee-drinking habits.

The detectives in charge turned out to be a warm, older officer Marin had worked with before, and a strikingly handsome young man she had never seen before. Strikingly handsome in the sense that Marin took time to look at him twice. His hair was sandy blonde and long enough to be pulled into a small low ponytail. But it was his eyes, _his eyes,_ that really captured Marin's attention. They were such a bright, _familiar,_ blue. They were also staring quite intensely at her. Ah, yes, they were discussing a case.

Despite how hard Marin tried to focus on what the older man was saying her attention kept straying towards the new officer. She didn't seem to be the only one distracted, either, as his face was sporting a bright blush. A man who blushes, how cute.

The conversation came to an end, and Marin was happy to see that she had somehow taken some quality notes during it. Experience certainly payed off. "I think I have enough to write up a preliminary report to my supervisor, thank you." She checked her watch: twenty-three minutes until her deadline. "I still have some questions, though. Would one of you be willing to keep talking while I write it up?"

The older officer clapped the younger one on the back- rather violently, if his stumble was any indication- before winking at Marin. "I think this one can take the talking from here."

She thanked the older man warmly before turning and heading towards the press room, happy to see that the mystery officer was following. Realizing she had yet to hear him speak, Marin slowed her pace until they were walking in step. "Are you new? I don't think I've seen you around."

He glanced at her briefly before staring at the ground. "I transferred into the CTPD about a month ago, before I was in working in Hateno."

His voice was softer than she expected, but deeper as well. It was both warm and surprisingly thrilling, and Marin decided she liked it quite a bit. "Hmm, Hateno?" Their eyes met briefly, and Marin thought the adjective _familiar_ was a strange way to describe someone's eyes. "I love the beaches there."

Wait, what? When had Marin been to Hateno Beach? When had she ever even been to Hateno? Her mind felt unsure of itself. She had both been and never been to Hateno, and both seemed right. Their eyes met a second time, and the blue in them was undeniably and intimately tied to this memory/not-memory. Marin stopped. She really wished she had remembered to drink coffee that morning- or remembered to not drink coffee, whichever was right.

A deep breath, a loud sigh. She resumed her pace, glancing at this distractedly handsome man next to her. He didn't seem disturbed, though, and Marin wondered if any time had passed at all. "I'm Marin, by the way. It's nice to meet you." It was unexpected how easily her mind calmed when she looked at him.

"Link. It's nice to meet you as well." _Link._ His name bounced around her head as she entered the press room. _Link Link Link._ _L I N K. Link._ How familiar.

There was that adjective again. Marin didn't let herself dwell on it as she now had her laptop in front of her and a report to write in nineteen minutes. She focused on her notes and her typing and tried to ignore Link.

Link seemed rather unsure of what to do with himself. He shuffled around the desk, glancing at the few items in the room and swinging his arms awkwardly. Fighting back a smile, Marin threw a question about the case at him. Although obviously caught off guard, Link appeared relieved to have something to focus on. He answered quickly and efficiently, and Marin was quite pleased.

With a huff and a dramatic click of the "send" button, Marin submitted her report with six minutes to spare. She sent a text to her supervisor, thanking Link while she did so. As she loaded other work on her laptop the man continued to hover, however. Marin waited expectantly for him to say something. He was pretty to look at, sure, but also very distracting. It would be better for her work if he left her alone.

At long last he worked up the courage. "Ya know, I've actually been meaning to introduce myself to you," he rubbed the back of his neck nervously, a blush spreading across his face. "I've noticed you around."

"Can't say I've returned the favor." Marin looked him up and down, biting down her smile at his sad pout. "But if it makes you feel any better, I'm definitely noticing you now."

His confidence seemed to skyrocket at her comment, and she went back to typing as he leaned against the wall with a smirk on his face- his stupidly handsome face. "Well if that's the case, would you like to grab coffee with me after both our shifts are up?"

"Coffee?" The ache from that morning crept back, and Marin sucked in a breath as it latched on to her heart. Link seemed oddly bright, oddly _familiar_ , oddly like, like-

Like he was staring at her as if _she_ was odd. He asked a question, didn't he, and questions needed answers. "Coffee sounds nice." The smile she was rewarded seemed to loosen the vice grip on her heart, and as they exchanged numbers and he blushed and stumbled away it all but let go. Marin smiled a small smile herself. Maybe she needed to get out more.

* * *

Miraculously, Link and Marin were finished at the same time, though she was a _bit_ suspicious this had taken some careful maneuvering on Link's part. The walk to the coffee shop was quiet but comfortable. She appreciated the quiet. The night and the moon washed over her, and under the streetlights her hair almost appeared to be gold. Marin thought that suited her more than red.

Once they both had their coffee (she did, in fact, like coffee) the quiet was no longer very comfortable and much more awkward. Link seemed at a loss for conversation topics and shy now that they were away from the precinct. There was something about him Marin was drawn to, however, so she decided to play nice. Remembering how easily he had talked about cases, Marin brought up the murder case from earlier.

"My thoughts on the warehouse murder?" He took a sip of his drink, and Marin did _not_ watch his Adam's apple as he swallowed. "Why do you ask?"

She shrugged, drinking a bit herself. "My supervisor and the other detective both seem sure it's just gang violence, that it's an open and shut case," she shrugged again, "Maybe I want to see if you have a different perspective."

"Looking for a hot take?"

Marin was far too pleased to discover he had a sense of humor. "More like… Seeing if you share my suspicions."

This got her an eyebrow raise, something she matched with one of her own. Link seemed to consider his response seriously. Hesitantly nodding, he leaned forward and spoke in a half-whisper. "I do think it's a _bit_ odd. The murder weapon and the violence of it don't really match Sheikah ways. Seems almost staged to me."

At her own slow nod Link leaned back in his chair. "How was that? Worthy of an exclusive?"

Marin chuckled, throwing back the last of her coffee. "Let me see: Newbie CTPD officer speculates that the recent murder of a low-ranking member of the Sheikah gang is odd." She waved her wands in an arc as if she was reading off of a headline. "Doesn't really grab attention, does it?"

Link nodded in agreement, finishing his coffee as well. "I guess not." His blue eyes held a question in them, and Marin found that once she met his eyes it was hard to look away. Something gripped at her heart, something both like and different from that first ache that morning, and she worried about being separated from him.

Marin stood and grabbed her purse, giddy at how sad he looked when it appeared she was leaving. "It might not be worth anything to viewers, but I think it earns dinner on me."

Link stood, his blush back in full force. Marin's smile came back as well. "Dinner, huh?" He rubbed his neck, and his voice shook a bit when he asked, "When were you thinking?"  
"Now." Marin stared at him openly as he searched her expression. "There's a ramen place I like right next door." Link breathed out a shaky _okay_ and then they were off, both smiling and both giggling like school children.

Dinner went even better than coffee. Marin discovered that Link had quite an appetite, and for some reason she found it extremely endearing. He was also a great storyteller with a little prodding, and an even better listener. Conversation flowed easily, and the time passed quickly. Before she was ready they were standing in the subway, him taking the green line and her the red. They stood facing each other, both unsure of what to say but sure something needed to be said. People moved around them, but they all seemed dull to Marin. Or maybe it was just that Link was bright…

Link let out a breath he looked like he had been holding all night. "I can't believe my luck right now. I've had a crush on you since the first day I saw you." For the first time that day Marin was the one to blush, and she swatted his shoulder playfully as he chuckled, "I'm serious!"

Sighing a happy sigh, Marin grabbed his hands. She was not going to let him be the boldest one tonight. "Well, you have my attention now." She moved her hands slowly up his arms and linked them around his shoulders, her fingers playing with his ponytail. His eyes darted to her lips and he gulped. This time Marin _did_ watch the motion. "Can I seal the night with a kiss?"

Instead of a verbal response he lowered his lips to hers, though Marin wasn't complaining. The kiss was sweet, and a little chaste, and felt like a promise for greater things. Link was smiling as he pulled away, and so was she- until her eyes met his.

Time seemed to stand still. Marin was suddenly in that moment and a hundred other moments. All the strange thoughts from throughout the day jumped in her head, and this time the ache in her chest was sharp enough that she clutched at her shirt.

The memories came back slowly, and then all at once. It was like waking up; at first there was a trickle of memories in the back of her mind, and then she remembered everything. Every kiss. Every life.

That's right, Marin thought bitterly. She had already died.


	3. Chapter 2

~ Chapter 2 ~

" _The flow of time is always cruel… its speed seems different for each person, but no one can change it."_

– Ocarina of Time (1998)

The first time, her name was Hilda and her features were dark. She was a journalist instead of a police reporter, and she didn't care much for coffee. The first time, she was haunted by a recurring nightmare of a gun and a _bang._

In that life, Hilda noticed Link first. She had been at a press conference when she first saw him. His features were the same as what she- what _Marin_ \- was seeing now. His hair was still blonde, although maybe a little darker and a little longer. His eyes were also a bit rounder the first time, but the blue was the same. The first time, she didn't describe his eyes as _familiar_. They were new. Exciting.

In her first life, she loved him.

Hilda couldn't stop fidgeting. She read her notes over again: a barely legible scribble of _nothing new._ She scanned the room, glanced at her coworker. They seemed to be transcribing everything that was being said. Hmm, that could work in her favor.

Someone new stood up to ask a question. Like a switch, Hilda focused her attention and poised her hand to take notes. "Mr. Yuga, what are your thoughts on the recent rise of Sheikah crimes?"

That was a disappointment. Ignoring the new rant that was starting, Hilda collected her things. Sure, it was technically her job to sit here, but nothing newsworthy was happening. And besides, it looked like her coworker had it covered. She said as much in response to their questioning look before squeezing through the row of chairs and crowds of people. It seemed never-ending, this wall of people leaning closer to the stage, the _click_ of cameras, pencils scraping and political droning.

One last push and Hilda was in an empty hallway, the noise of the press conference behind her. She felt like she could finally breathe, and breathe she did as she took in her surroundings. It appeared to be one of the many grand hallways that made up Yuga's mansion, this one just as gaudy as the rest. The whole thing was decorated in deep purples, reds, and black, and it reminded her more of the monarchs of old than the world of today. Fitting indeed, Hilda mused, for a man such as Yuga.

Unfortunately, all of the rooms and the stairs at the end were being guarded by policemen, making snooping impossible. With the help of one of them, she was able to find her way to an exit. It wasn't the same one she had entered in, but Hilda was a glad for that. She didn't want to have to deal with the large crowd that had gathered at the mansion's entrance, a crowd made up of bored reporters waiting for their colleagues, protesters, and more reporters recording said protesters. No, Hilda was perfectly happy to use this small side entrance where all she faced was a quiet street and the back of a police officer on guard. It was disappointing, though, that the press conference had been so bland. Was it too much to ask for just one small thing, something, anything that was new?

As she opened the door and stepped out the police officer turned towards her, his blue eyes meeting her own. Well, he was certainly something. Hilda staggered in her step as a bright light flooded her vision, temporarily blinding her. It passed just as quickly as it came, and she continued down the stairs, the officer's back to her again. Passing the moment off on the sun, she stopped at his side, digging in her bag for the granola bar she had stuffed somewhere.

Finally retrieving it, Hilda met the man's questioning look. He was very pretty, with his blonde hair and bright blue eyes. "Is it just you out here?" she asked before taking a bite. She struggled to hold back her smirk at his confused expression.

"My partner is taking a bathroom break." His voice was deeper than expected- a welcome surprise. He had resumed his original pose, hands resting on his waistband and eyes focused straight ahead. There was a slight crinkle between his eyebrows now though, and Hilda was curious if he was annoyed by her or just confused.

"So what you're telling me Officer…" she glanced at his nametag, "Link, is that you are the only one guarding this entrance?" He gave a small nod, still keeping his eyes on the street. "So if I were to disarm or distract you, someone could just waltz right in, huh?"

He turned to face her then, the fold in his forehead growing as she continued to eat her granola bar. "Is that a threat?"

Hilda let out a loud laugh at the unexpected comment, covering her mouth to keep any food from flying. "No sir, just an observation." Pulling on the lanyard around her neck, she showed him her reporter's pass. "I'm a reporter, not a threat."

Link shifted his weight, his focus going to her ID card and his expression losing some of the hardness. "So you're telling me, Hilda, that instead of reporting on the press conference you're here, grilling a random police officer?" At her raised eyebrows he added, "Just an observation," with a small smile playing on his lips.

Hilda smiled as well. "It's rather boring inside. Believe it or not, these past two minutes have been much more entertaining than the past hour in there."

His smile growing, Link opened his mouth to respond, only to be cut off by a loud beeping. Hilda jumped, scrambling for her phone. It seemed like the loudest noise in the world, and she couldn't reach it fast enough. "Goddesses above," she sighed, shooting Link an embarrassed look before picking up the call from her supervisor.

The woman on the other end rattled on, talking about _abandoning her post_ and _leaving her partner,_ and Hilda gave it little attention. Instead, she watched Link as he scuffed and shuffled his feet, his eyes down. The call ended with a _report back now_ , and Hilda hung up, gathering her resolve to break whatever had fallen over the two of them.

"Well, I guess that's my cue." Link gave a small nod, meeting her eyes once more. He seemed like he wanted to say something, but he held back. The two stared at each other for a moment, and Hilda was struck by how blue his eyes were. How bright they were- almost blinding. The thought was there, but before her mind could grasp it, it was gone and she was walking away. "I hope I see you around," she added over her shoulder. Hilda meant it.

And she did see him around, quite often in fact. So often it seemed like he was the only officer in town. She would spot him in police cars, and on the streets guiding traffic. When she turned on the news he was there, in the background of press conferences looking just as serious and pretty as when she had met him. It was a bit strange how much she saw him, and even stranger how he never seemed to see her.

Hilda wondered if she had simply been thinking about him too much. She couldn't seem to get his eyes out of head, or that playful smirk. And at night, her usual nightmares had been replaced with sweet dreams of his blonde hair and deep voice. It was rather embarrassing. She was way past the age of such silly crushes. Still, Hilda indulged herself. The days went by faster when she spent them thinking about Link, and it filled her with an excitement she hadn't quite felt before. She liked to wonder what he was about to say before her stupid phone interrupted, or to imagine the romantic way in which they would one day reunite.

Their reunion turned out to be less romantic, and more awkward on her part. A bit of time had passed since that fateful day, but not too much. Hilda couldn't quite pin down how long it had been, but every day that passed felt like long enough. So when she noticed him one day at the opposite end of the cereal aisle in her local grocery store, she wasted no time in walking right up to him.

Or at least, that was what she planned to do, until halfway down the aisle she was suddenly seized by sharp pain in her chest. Grabbing at her shirt, Hilda stumbled onto her knees with a soft cry. She held herself up with one arm as her vision blurred and darkened, and the thudding sound in her ears was either her heart or feet running. A second shot of pain ran through her and her arm gave out. Her upper body was falling towards the floor when arms grabbed her by the shoulders, stopping her fall.

All at once the pain was gone. Hilda couldn't even remember what the pain had felt like, but the hands on her shoulders felt strong. One arm looped around her back to hold her more securely, and Hilda was glad that her hair was acting as a curtain. She had an idea of who was holding her in the cereal aisle, and she wasn't ready to show him her face.

Eventually, Hilda registered what he was saying. He seemed to have given up trying to talk to her, and was talking to someone over her head. "Call 911, this woman has collapsed."

She sat up- rather abruptly, if Link's reaction was any measure- and forcefully said, "Don't!" Hilda turned to look at the people behind her, only to meet bright blues. Dropping Link's gaze, she braced her weight and began to stand. "I'm fine."

The weight of Link's arms settled on her again as he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her against him. "Are you sure?" asked one of the women who had run over, her finger hovering mid-dial.

Hilda nodded slowly, pulling away from Link until he was only holding her arm loosely. "Yes, I just need some air."

"Let me take you." Link's voice was a shock to her system. At her wide-eyed expression he offered a soft smile. "I don't want you collapsing again alone."

She gave him a meek nod and then they were off, leaving their grocery baskets behind. Link held her arm the whole way, and he only let go once she was sitting comfortably on the curb outside. Now it was Hilda's turn to avoid his eyes, as she sat and hoped the ground would swallow her up.

"We've met before, haven't we?" Looking towards Link slowly, Hilda prayed her face wouldn't give her away. Here it was, the fateful reunion, and all of her confidence had slipped out in her fall. What was she supposed to do? Play too coy and he'll be hurt, share too much and he'll be weirded out.

Staring at his face as if she was trying to place him, Hilda opened her mouth and raised her eyebrows in mock surprise. "We met at the press conference, right? Yuga's?"

Link's smile in response filled Hilda with such warmth she couldn't help but smile in return, a giggle bubbling up. "I was hoping to run into you again," his eyes seemed impossibly brighter in that moment, "I was wondering what Hilda the reporter gets up to when she's not threatening police officers."

"It was not a threat!" Her indignation was met with a laugh. As he shook his head in disbelief and amusement, Hilda's stomach filled with butterflies.

They exchanged numbers after that, and later in the week they went on their first date. A second date followed, and then a third, a fourth, and fifth… Time passed and soon they had been on too many to count. Link went from a romanticized dream to something real and solid in her life, and Hilda was grateful for the change. The butterflies faded into a comfortable warmth, and with it came the ease of routine. Link was a part of her life now. Their relationship wasn't particularly grand, but Hilda liked that. There was something special about the familiarity that developed between them, and certainly the trust too. No, it wasn't particularly grand, but there was love.

The first time she told him he had looked so surprised, so awed, that Hilda nearly burst. When he repeated it back she felt as if she did, and as he said it again and again throughout the night she felt _right_. For the first time, really, she felt right with the world and herself.

Things were bound to change. One day they were laying in her bed, his hand in her hair and her head on his chest, and the next he was dead.

 _Link is dead_. The man repeated the words, his voice gravelly over the phone. _I'm so sorry, it was a freak thing-_ The rest of the words didn't really make sense. There was a dull throbbing in her chest and nothing felt real, not even the news. Her recurring dream came back: the bright light, the barrel of a gun, the loud _bang_. Hilda had the brief thought that she had the seen into the future. She had dreamed of his death, over and over before she had even met him. _Link._

It was as her life faded into a new one that she realized something else was going on.

Fading is the only way to describe what happened. One day she was _Hilda_ and the next she was someone else. It was like waking up after a long nap. She had no memories of before but she didn't seem to have memories of this new life, either.

The second time was much the same as the first. They met, they flirted, they danced around each other. And just as love began to blossom between the two of them, she remembered. _Link._ All at once the memories came back: a _bang_ , a playful threat, a fall, their first date, first kiss, their love. He did not know her but she knew him, _Link,_ and she loved him. She loved him and her heart was filled with joy because maybe this was their second chance at love. Maybe they could reclaim what they had lost the first time.

They didn't reclaim anything. Just like the first, there was a call, and pain, and the words _Link is dead._ He was dead but she was still here, and she didn't know why.

The third time, they went on one date. From the first moment she saw him she had remembered. His blue, blue eyes and his sweet smile and his deep voice- it had all come back, and her love for him with it. They went on one date, and then he disappeared and she knew. She knew before his coworkers told her, before it appeared in the newspaper. He had died. Again.

The fourth time was different. It was a new life, or she was new person, but she never forgot. She always knew. She couldn't place where her last life had ended and where this one had begun, but she knew. Knew him. _Link._

That life was the hardest. She couldn't make sense of which life was when and who she was. All of the memories bled together and became muddied. She became quiet and removed, spending her days sorting out the memories in a journal. In that life, she never met Link. That life ended before it really began.

The first thing she remembered in the next life was that journal. She had been reading a book, or maybe the newspaper, when it came back to her: a journal, hidden in the library. She hadn't known what it was or what it meant, but she knew it existed. She needed to find it.

She found it easily enough, and with it came the memories of everything else: her other lives, her other faces, _Link._ Yes, he was the important memory, wasn't he? It was comforting to have the journal, to be able to number her lives and know which memory came from which life. It made it much easier to look at Link and not feel like she was drowning.

It did not help with the fact that she had loved this man who did not know her, that she had lost him more than once. It did not help that she could remember every whisper between them, or the feel of his lips on her own. In that life, they struck up a shaky friendship. She was too scared, too hurt to get close to him, and Link was too confused on what her feelings were. She kept him at a safe distance, and instead tried to pay attention to other things. It was clear she was not meant to love him.

A moment came where he pushed her. He tried to share some of the feelings he had for her in that life, and she panicked. She told him he was going to die, that something violent was going to rip him from this world, and he had backed away. His blue eyes had looked afraid, afraid of her, and she had never missed his love more than in that moment. He did not believe her.

The next day came and he was dead. She wanted to die too- something painful and shattering.

When her next life came, she avoided him. She focused on the memories of pain and loss instead of love, and kept her distance. She tried to find other clues, other constants in this cycle. _There has to be a reason_. She could feel her life fading away, however, the pull of something new at the back of her mind. Things became blurry and it was hard to tell one day from another. Sometimes she would catch herself breathing slower and slower until she was barely taking any breaths at all. Only at night did she feel alive, when she would wake suddenly from a dream, her heart pounding and the sound of a gunshot ringing in her ear. In the dark of her room, the dreams felt real, and she did as well. Around Link she felt it as well, this feeling of life. This scared her more than the dreams, however, and so she did not seek him out. It was odd really, how none of her memories seemed to stretch beyond him, beyond _Link._ Time itself seemed fixed, as she must have lived a hundred years and yet nothing about the world around her had changed. She was suspended, trapped. With nothing else to do, she wrote in her journal, dreamed of a bright light and a _bang,_ and waited for her life to fade.

In this particular moment, in this particular life, as the pain in her chest faded, she looked up into Link's blue eyes. They were filled with concern, and it took a beat for her to remember that she was Marin, and he was Link, and she had foolishly gone on a date with him. She had kissed him even.

Muttering a curse, Marin pushed Link off of her. She hated the lives where it took longer to remember. It was harder to stay away when she remembered something sweet.

"Marin, what's wrong?" She winced as he said her name. It sounded wrong now that she remembered all the other names, all the other things he had called her. Rubbing her hands over her face, Marin stepped further away from him.

She couldn't meet his eyes. "I'm sorry," it was weak, but she felt weak. The kiss they just shared was mixing with a hundred other kisses, and the concern in his eyes reminded her of the love she had seen there. It was too much. He reached for, _Link_ , this sweet boy that had loved her and died because of her, and all she could say was "I'm sorry" again.

She ran, hoping to leave his eyes and her love for them behind her.

So hello, I am back. Life kind of got away from me, and my original posting plan fell apart. But I felt inspired today and managed to knock this out, so here ya go. I _do_ intend on finishing this. I'm just not going to make promises about when.

As for other info I wanted to share, the title for this fic comes from an instrumental piece in the kdrama _While You Were Sleeping_. This particular bit of music is SO GOOD and it kind captures the feeling (?) I'm going for. I recommend checking it out, even just to listen to how good it is. It's on Spotify.

Also Link's Awakening remake? And _this_ year? There is good in the world, man.


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